


Defying Impossibilities

by EarthGirl



Category: Robot Series - Isaac Asimov
Genre: (They got together on the trip back from Aurora), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7005373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthGirl/pseuds/EarthGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When their request for Daneel to join Elijah in the new Settler world is denied, the two struggle to make the most of every opportunity they have to be together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defying Impossibilities

It was an important day in human history. For the first time in over a thousand years, a group of colonists would be leaving Earth, humanity’s planet of origin, in order to establish a colony. Used to being oppressed by the descendants of those who had left millennia ago, this new group intended to begin its new civilization under socio-economic premises completely different from those employed by the Spacers, and the success or failure of their enterprise could determine the fate of the species’ future. It was, therefore, needless to say that the emigrants were all extremely anxious.

None, however, was as anxious as Elijah Baley.

That was, the others would say, understandable. Even though the forty-seven years old plainclothesman was the only human currently present on the planet’s Outside surface who was not about to emigrate, he had been the creator of the project, the one who had led all of the training, and the only one among them who had actually been to space before. He had been the one who negotiated with the Spacers to get the project approved, and he was the reason why they had been granted the Auroran ships they were currently waiting for, the ones that would lead them to their new home. Although he had been considered too old to emigrate with the first group, he intended to follow them in a few years. His son Bentley was the leader of the young group about to undertake this historical journey, and although the planet’s official name would be selected only once they had settled in, there was considerable talk about making it an homage to the “Baley” surname. Yes, this was very much Elijah Baley’s project, and it was no surprise to anyone that he seemed to be the most nervous member of the group.

Some, Elijah was sure, suspected there was yet another reason for his anxiety, but those were extremely careful not to allude to their secret thoughts in front of him. He almost wished that one of them would. Then he could just answer with the truth, and end this ridiculous charade. Jehoshaphat, he had given them all a chance of a new life! It did not seem to him that it would be too much to ask them to give him the same.

He sighed, and tried to keep his expression calm. This situation had to be handled carefully; one wrong, precipitated move could lose him their sympathy forever. Cursing lowly, he passed a hand over his forehead to get rid of his annoying sweat. He hated this. For the past two years, his life had been a state of constant anxiety and uncertainty, very occasionally interrupted by brief moments of extreme happiness that always seemed to increase even more the extreme high stakes of his present situation. And although he was no stranger to stress and uncertainty, he had never felt so alone while facing a difficult situation. Not only did the other person involved live in another planet, but so did the only people who supported them. He had no sympathetic person with whom to talk, and the resulting sharp loneliness seemed to emphasize how much time was passing with no perspectives of the situation being solved in a positive way. And if that weren’t enough, he constantly felt suffocated by thought of how much precious time they had already lost forever.

“The spaceships are arriving!” Informed one of the people who had been in touch with the City via radio. Elijah’s eyes immediately leapt upwards, and he desperately fought the panic that still assailed him whenever he looked directly at the sky. He knew he was being foolish: it was far too early for anything to be visible to the naked eye. But his heart had accelerated, and he could not keep himself from trying to locate tiny dots in the immensity above, or from absurdly hoping that one of them would be immediately discernable as the one aboard which was Daneel.

Daneel! Just the thought of him made Elijah momentarily forget about his stressful surroundings, as if they had become less real than the warm memories passing through his mind. It had been two years since they had realized their love was mutual, since he had let go of his doubts and accepted that somehow, for reasons he would probably never understand, the most wonderful person in the universe loved him back. Their encounters since had been the happiest moments of his entire life, but this far there had been only three of these meetings, each of them using negotiations for the Settler movement as an excuse. It was hard, being forced to live out of stolen moments hidden aboard spaceships that most of the planet didn’t want in its orbit, and often having to go for months without any form of communication.

Yet, he had to admit that their first steps towards their ultimate goal of living together had progressed better than he had initially dared to hope. Jessie had certainly reacted better than he had expected. Since he had started talking in earnest about colonization, and leaving forever for another planet, they had been all but officially separated, so his request for a divorce had not, in itself, bothered her. It was only to be expected, really. But to his immense surprise, neither had she been shocked at his reveal about Daneel.

“I’ve known you for over twenty years, Lije. You don’t know how different you look when you talk about him.”

“You aren’t mad?”

“My son is going away to some wild planet, and I will never see him again.” She’d said, coldly. “I won’t get to know my grandchildren, because of this emigration absurdity you started. I have more to be mad at you about than your new boyfriend. ”

But she _had_ been mad when he said he was hoping to have Daneel go live with him in the new planet. It was bad enough, she had said, that her entire family was leaving her, but at least she could publically paint that as them pursuing something they believed would benefit society. But to have the entire galaxy know her husband had left her for a robot? What would people say?

It had taken time to convince her that all negative gossip would fall solely upon him. And, he had suggested, there was no need for him to ask for the divorce. She could do it, right at that moment, years before he’d have any chance of publically assuming his relationship with Daneel. In this way, she would distance herself from him in the public’s eye much before any scandal happened. She’d gone silent after that, and gone to her room (he had moved to the third bedroom in the apartment as soon as he’d arrived from Aurora). For the next week, she had not made any allusions to the topic, and he’d grown increasingly anxious about it. But in the end, she told him she would ask for the divorce a couple of months after Bentley left (the purpose of that, Elijah supposed, being so that they could keep the apartment, and Bentley wouldn’t spend his last years on Earth living with friends. The couple extra months were most likely for public image’s sake), and they were not to tell anyone (except Bentley) anything about divorcing before then. She had even stated she had no problems with him meeting with Daneel in the meantime, as long as he was discreet. It had been so different from the angry reaction he had been expecting, that he had been worried rather than happy.

“Are you alright?”

“No, but I will be. You and Bentley seem happy starting completely new lives. I don’t understand what you thought was wrong with the one we had, but I think this was the wake-up call I needed to restart my life as well.”

And so she had. She still did all she could to be around Bentley as much as possible, but she started to spend more and more time at her work, and with her politician friends. He strongly suspected she had eventually found a new boyfriend too, someone who actually shared her world views and life goals, but as she didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask. He was happy for her, and extremely relieved to have gotten her permission to be with Daneel.

He should have realized this luck was too good to last.

Six months ago, he and Jessie had asked Bentley to stay home after dinner and told him the real reason why they were planning on getting divorced. Ben had attempted to storm out, but his last words before rising from his seat had been an indignant question of how his mother could be ok with that.

“Well, it is hardly the most surprising life change I’ve seen people decide to make lately” she’d said icily. “And it made me realize I should stop trying to understand things I can’t, and just take it as a chance to restart my life completely, like everyone seems to be doing.”

That seemed to shame him. He returned to his seat, and she went to bed. For a very stressful hour, Ben had listened stiffly as his father talked about his relationship with Daneel, about how much he had struggled to understand his feelings, how certain he was of them now, and how important having Bentley’s support would be to him.

At the end, Ben had got up and gone to his room without a word. Elijah had stayed up, lost in melancholic thoughts, not noticing time pass. At about two in the morning, Ben had emerged, and quietly muttered “I won’t pretend to understand this, Dad. But you are a great father, a great person, and I love you, so I suppose I have to accept it.”

Considering the boy’s initial reaction, that had been much more than Elijah had dared to hope for in those dark last hours. Touched, he had got up from the couch and hugged his son, and for a few moments he had felt as if the weight of the entire galaxy had been lifted from his shoulders.

Then he had made his request for Bentley to consider allowing Daneel to live in the new planet. Indignation had shot in Ben’s eyes, and this time there had been no stopping him from storming out. Elijah imagined that if it hadn’t been for Bentley’s incoming historical trip, the boy might still not have talked to him since that night. As it was, the urgency of the approaching long separation had made them attempt to talk about the subject earlier than they probably should have, and the conversation had turned into a huge argument. For the sake of not parting on bad terms, they were now not speaking to each other about Daneel, but neither was under any illusion that the other had given up on having his way.

Daneel’s presence on the launching of the project was, of course, evidence of his and Elijah’s determination on this point. The official reasons given for him being there had been, certainly, extremely convincing. Earth’s outmoded ships had not been made for interstellar space travel, and although there were engineers working on new models capable of being of use for future settling groups, this first one would have to leave on Auroran ships. It was, of course, understood that no robots were to be allowed to set foot on the new planet, but nonetheless, the ships would have to be piloted by robots. They had been instructed to stay away from the passengers, but due to the ship’s design, they could only accomplish that by staying into the navigation room for the entire duration of the trip. And as an Auroran ship contained several facilities and functions that would be unknown to Earthpeople, and the Settlers would have no opportunity of asking for help with them during the trip, Daneel had been sent to give them a full tour of the ships and answer any questions that might arise. He had been chosen, Fastolfe’s official note stated, because no human Auroran would consent to perform this function, and because his social skills were much more advanced than any other robot’s.

“Besides,” the note had ended, “Daneel has volunteered for the job. He is very fond of Earth, and is glad for any opportunity to help you in your endeavor.”

Elijah could only imagine that Fastolfe had been trying to turn the groups’ collective opinion slightly in Daneel’s favor. The roboticist had, after all, given them his full blessing (out of a desire to observe how being involved in a romantic relationship would affect his creation, rather than out of altruism, Elijah was certain). But whatever the intention behind that line, the result had been nothing but an increase in the number of snickers he had to endure whenever Daneel was mentioned, and of jokes the youngsters seemed to believe they were only making outside of his hearing range. “I imagine that robot is very fond of _Earth_ , alright” had been a frequent whisper among the future settlers for days in a row, until his increasingly angry behavior clued them in on their own lack of discretion.

What it came down to was that those who steadfastly refused to believe the rumors about Elijah and Daneel that had been started by that damned hyperwave drama (a position held by the majority of Earth’s population) considered the decision to send Daneel there unwise. Those who were in doubt saw it as evidence to begin to sway their beliefs towards there perhaps being some truth in the rumors, and those few who had always believed it were gloating. Bentley, however, might be the only one who saw Daneel’s presence for what it truly was: a chance for Daneel to get to know the Settlers, and for them to hopefully develop some sympathy towards him.

Yells from those with the sharpest eyes brought Elijah’s attention back to the present moment. Looking up at the sky once more, he smiled at the sight of four small dots approaching quickly on the sky. For half an hour his heart beat wildly, and his head seemed to feel gradually lighter, as a pleasant dizziness took over most of his senses in anticipation of the approaching meeting.

At last, the ships landed at a distance, and Elijah immediately began to walk towards them. Only when he stopped, anxiously, his breath caught in his throat, a few meters away from the ships, did he realize that although the others had followed, they had left some space between him and the rest of the group. Three of the ships were of the same model, and the fourth was smaller. Its door opened suddenly, revealing a tall, bronze skinned figure. Elijah felt his jaw ache from how widely he was smiling as he stared lovingly into the blue eyes that had instantly sought and fixated on his.

“Partner Elijah,” said Daneel, his own lips forming an unquestionable smile.

“Partner Daneel,” Elijah replied in a tremulous voice, and suddenly they were moving towards each other. It took everything in him to remember that he should not run, that he should not hold his partner tightly, that there would be time for that later, but that for now there was a crowd analyzing their every movement, and doing anything too hasty might turn them decisively against Daneel before he even had a chance to speak to them.

Still, as soon as they met, they threw their arms around each other, and Elijah granted himself two seconds in which to get lost in the solidity of Daneel’s body against his, to get comforted by the warmth of the contact and the subtle pressure of the fingers against his back, seeming to promise a more satisfying embrace in the near future. Then, having hugged Daneel neither with the intensity he wished to, nor for as long as craved, he forced himself to step back. Their eyes met for a moment, tremulously, and they shared one last smile before Elijah finally turned back to talk to the group.

“As you all know,” he said, in the loud voice he had become used to employing when addressing this many people at once, “this is Daneel Olivaw, my friend and partner, who is here to teach you how to use these ships. Daneel, these are the brave young people who are about to make the first effort to get humanity expanding again.” Then, shaking slightly, but knowing that it would seem odd if he did not do this, he proceeded, “there would be no time to introduce all of them to you, but, of course, you know my son.”

Bentley advanced, his expression serious and impenetrable, and there was just a hint of coldness in his voice as he said, “how do you do, Mr. Olivaw?”

The corner of Elijah’s lip twitched slightly. Bentley was at least setting the example for others to address Daneel respectfully.

“Very well, thank you, Mr. Baley,” Daneel replied, extending a hand that Bentley shook quickly. “And you appear to be doing well too. I have read several reports on the development of the project, and I would like to congratulate you on your importance to its success.”

“Thank you” Bentley replied stiffly, returning to his position.

That could have gone worse, Elijah thought, as he smiled nervously at Daneel.

“Well, they are all yours.”

“Thank you, Partner Elijah.” The words were said softly, and Elijah stepped back, judging it better to put some distance between them before he forgot himself and extended a hand in Daneel’s direction without noticing.

“Good morning,” Daneel started. “Before we begin, I want to say that it is a great honor to meet all of you. I know how much effort you have all put into this project, and how you have struggled to overcome severe difficulties to reach this point. Your bravery and determination are highly admirable, and it is good to know you represent the future of humanity.”

Some members of the crowd frowned, clearly thinking it was presumptuous of a robot to express approval, or pass any sort of judgement, on human actions. Others, however, smiled politely, and Elijah tried to make a mental note of who had reacted how, in case he might later use that information to decide upon further action.

“The three ships that the Auroran government has sent are all of the same model,” said Daneel, “so there will be no need for us to do a full tour of each. Nonetheless, we will end the tour with a walk through the two ships not examined during the first part, so that all of you can inspect them. It is now ten in the morning. I suggest that we begin by looking at the living quarters of one of the ships, and that you then have lunch aboard and test the facilities. The afternoon will be dedicated to a detailed tour of the engineering sections. While the pilot robots will, of course, help you in case there are any serious emergencies, they have been ordered to leave the ship’s daily maintenance in your care. You will spend the night on the ships, to test the quarters, and we will leave tomorrow morning. My ship will accompany you until shortly before the first Jump. Will that schedule be agreeable to you?”

The group nodded, and some verbally agreed. Daneel then led them towards the nearest ship, and they began the inspection. He showed them where to store the rations they would bring aboard, and how to use the ship’s kitchen in case any of them required heating. He took them through the sleeping cabins, and demonstrated the use of the anti-gravity fields. Elijah stood close to him, moderating the group’s questions, and observing with satisfaction that his partner’s charisma and politeness might be starting to win him the sympathy of a few of them. The high point of the initial part of the tour, in Elijah’s opinion, was when he overheard Linda Brown whisper “he is really nice” to her sister Nelly. He had seen the way Bentley and Linda looked at each other sometimes. If the girl became an ally, she might be an important one.

But for all the positive signs the morning brought, he ached with the need to be alone with Daneel. It felt unnatural to be this close to him for two hours without even once holding his hand, to watch him interact with a group that was still mostly cold towards him and not be able to comfort him, and to hear him talk for so long about practical matters when they had not even had a chance of asking each other “how are you?” yet. He knew he was supposed to be glad that the group was asking plenty of questions, as it meant that they would be more likely to have a safe and comfortable trip, and each question was a further opportunity for Daneel to positively impress them. But each hand that was raised to manifest the intent of asking a question was a further delay of lunchtime break, and each brought with it the sensation of time forever lost that had been tormenting him for two years. Anxiety was taking hold, and he was beginning to experience difficult in breathing.

Daneel noticed, and alarm showed clearly in his eyes. Elijah tried to smile soothingly, to minimize the negative effects Daneel experienced from seeing him ill, but it was useless.

“If there are no further questions after this one,” Daneel said quickly to the group, “we can proceed to lunch.”

A couple of hands that had seemed ready to rise in the air went down again. The morning had been exhausting, and all of them were curious to test the facilities in which they would be having their meals for the next two and a half weeks.

Daneel answered the last question as fast as he could, casting Elijah worried glances all through his speech. He then informed the group that he would join them at the meal room later, and dismissed them. As the youngsters turned their backs on them and chattered happily on their way to lunch, Elijah discreetly approached the door to a nearby sleeping cabin. As soon as the last settler disappeared down the corridor, he opened it and slipped inside, in which he was quickly followed by Daneel, who pushed the door behind him as he entered. They were embracing before the door had fully closed.

“Are you feeling unwell?” Daneel whispered desperately.

“I’m alright now. It just felt as if we would never be able to get away from them.”

The oppressive feeling on his chest, already much diminished, melted away completely when gentle lips pressed against his. Daneel’s touch seemed to make him able to breathe again, to make the tension in his muscles vanish, to make all his problems disappear, even if just for a moment. He forgot about the situation, about their surroundings, about the uncertainty of the future. For a few precious instants, nothing was real but the comfortable pressure of strong arms around his body, the softness of the skin that occasionally brushed against his as they moved to deepen the kiss, the somewhat embarrassing whimpering noises that came from his throat, the low, humming ones that came from Daneel’s, and, most of all, the overwhelming tenderness that was felt in their every touch, and that only seemed to increase as the kiss grew more passionate.

At last, they broke apart, smiling at each other and remaining in silence for a moment, each drinking in the brightness in the other’s eyes.

“How are you doing, dear?” Elijah asked softly, and a shadow seemed to appear in Daneel’s expression.

“I am very happy to be here, of course. But I found Bentley’s behavior concerning. Apart from the reception, he has not spoken to me the entire morning. I am very sorry if I have caused any friction between you and your son, Elijah, I…”

“Please don’t say that, Daneel. You have done nothing wrong.” He sighed and held both of Daneel’s hands. “I’m the one who is sorry for the way he is treating you.”

“Don’t be. He is being perfectly polite, and it would not be your fault if he were not. Earth humans’s fear of robots was the first thing I was ever briefed on, and having heard your personal history, as well as those of others, I understand the reasons for that fear and do not feel offended by it. But I do feel sorry for Bentley’s lack of understanding. I admit I was expecting him to eventually sympathize with our situation, on your account. I believed that affection for you would lead him to support a request that would contribute to your happiness.”

Elijah’s lips twitched on a sort of sad smile. “Our close relationship only makes it harder for Bentley to accept my making an important life decision he cannot understand. I know it doesn’t rationally make sense, but us humans rarely do.” He lifted a hand to softly caress Daneel’s cheek, and Daneel leaned into the touch.

“Since the other members of the group are not emotionally close to you, but admire you and see you as a mentor, would this mean that perhaps they have a higher chance of accepting my presence than Bentley does?”

“I don’t know, Daneel. Some of them, maybe, the most open minded ones. But for most, the prejudice is too strong. And soon the planet will begin to be filled by people who did not train with me, so any gratitude that this particular group may have for me may not be as influential as you believe.” He sighed, exhaustedly, and brought Daneel’s hand up, to press his lips against it. “But I will not stop trying to convince them.”

“I know you won’t.” Daneel smiled fondly. “You never do. And I believe you are underestimating the intensity of their admiration for you.”

Elijah’s gaze moved unwillingly towards the ground, and there was an unintended warning tone in his voice when he answered.

“I am _not_.”

“The existence of this entire project proves that you are,” Daneel said softly. “Five years ago, you vehemently told me it would be impossible for any Earth human to stay outside long enough to walk the short distance between the City and Spacetown, and that was indeed true back then. But it no longer is, thanks to you.”

“Daneel, the notion of emigration came from Fastolfe, and everyone in the group worked really hard…”

“And even so, the project would not have been started in practice, or gained so many supporters, without your initiative, nor would it have been approved, and these ships would not be here, if you had not thoroughly impressed several influential Spacers in more than one occasion.”

“I…” He could feel his face grow warm. “That does not mean that I can convince anyone of anything I want to, Jehoshaphat, Daneel…” embarrassed, he stumbled on his words, and Daneel’s voice changed to a worried tone.

“I am sorry, Elijah, I did not mean to put pressure on you. All I meant is that I believe you sometimes underestimate your abilities, and I wish it was in my power to show you how impressive of a person you are.”

“Me?” Trying to ignore the redness of his face, he forced himself to look back up, directly into Daneel’s intense, gentle blue eyes. “Daneel, none of the things you admire me for come close to how much your abilities have surpassed the wildest expectations of even the man who designed your brain. You are the most impressive person in the entire galaxy, you…”

Daneel interrupted, leaning closer to him.

“I could never have begun to expand my worldview in the way I did if it had not been for you. Elijah…”

Feeling that he could not stand to blush any deeper, Elijah pressed their mouths together once again. The kiss was softer this time, slower, the desperation of the previous one having melted into a calm, comforting warmth that seemed to fill his entire body. When they pulled away, his eyes remained closed for a moment. Then, with a sigh, he opened them and looked at his watch.

“I think we must go join the group,” he said, reluctantly. Daneel’s fingers entangled gently on his hair.

“We will have the entire night for ourselves.”

“Not the _entire_ night.” Elijah replied, somewhat pettily, leaning his head on Daneel’s chest. “I’m afraid I will have to sleep for at least a few hours. Otherwise, my face will show it in the morning, and we would never hear the end of it.”

“I already kept you away from lunch. I would hate to keep you from sleep as well. Our time together should not have a negative impact on your health.”

Elijah sighed. He might have replied that their time _apart_ did, hadn’t it been for the negative First Law reaction that such a response would cause in Daneel. Instead, he nodded and forced himself to step away and open the door. They walked to the meal room together, but at a distance. As they approached it, the loud voices of young people, enjoying themselves and having completely forgotten about the risk of being overheard, came from down the corridor.

“I think he is really nice.”

“Of course he is, he is _programmed_ to be nice. Just because his smile is more realistic than the ones of the robots back in the city, doesn’t mean the emotion is any more genuine.”

“C’mon, didn’t you see the way he kept glancing at Mr. Baley?”

“So what? That was the First Law. Mr. Baley looked kind of sick.”

“Not as much as Tom did when he hit his head on that door, and Daneel did not speed up the tour for that. He just quickly checked if Tom was not hurt, asked if he was feeling well enough to continue, and accepted the positive answer. _That_ was the First Law. The way he was looking at Mr. Baley wasn’t…”

“What do you guys think they are doing right now?”

“Inspecting the ship, or something else that is more productive than gossiping about other people’s lives” said Bentley’s voice, sharply interrupting all conversation. There were a few muttered “sorry, Ben,” and relative silence fell on the ship.

Feeling mortified, Elijah turned to look at Daneel.

“Dear, I am _deeply_ sorry. They have no right to…”

“It’s alright, Elijah. I’m used to hearing similar comments on Aurora, and was not expecting anything different. I am glad that some of them seem to believe in our relationship.” His voice tried to sound firm, but its low volume betrayed a level of disturbance. Not knowing what to do, Elijah reached for one of his hands, and pressed it tightly. Daneel gave him a small smile and returned the pressure, before letting go, entering the meal room, and announcing the end of lunch break.

* * *

 

The afternoon passed unbearably slowly. Elijah wished he and Daneel had extended the meal break for a few minutes, for he was certain that some of the emigrants suspected the two of them might have heard the end of their lunchtime conversation. Although important questions were still asked, and everyone continued to address Daneel formally and politely, most of the morning’s excitement seemed to have been replaced by an awkward silence that gave the group as a whole, even apparently sympathetic people like Linda, an aura of coldness. Elijah’s mood dropped considerably, and it did not help when Bentley approached him at the end of the tour, after Daneel had announced that there was only one room left to be seen, and whispered “you’re going to have dinner with us, won’t you, Dad?”

“I’m sorry, Ben, but I won’t. You may tell them that I will have enough of ship rations when it’s my turn to emigrate, and that for tonight I’d rather have an Auroran meal. I’ve told them often enough how good the food there is.”

“Dad, this is the last night before the mission. You won’t see us for years.”

“And I will miss all of you, you especially. But if everything works out, soon I will be living with you again. Time with you is something I can be fairly certain of.” Even though they were whispering, he lowered his voice. “Time with him isn’t.”

A conflicted look appeared on Bentley’s face.

“Dad, I _can’t_ le…”

“Ben, _please_. Not today, alright? We can discuss this in letters once you’re settled, but for God’s sake, let’s not argue right before you leave.”

Ben sighed and nodded. He started to walk towards the group, and Elijah called him back.

“I will spend time with you tomorrow morning, before breakfast, alright?”

“Yeah, sure.” He left, and Elijah took a moment to breathe deeply before following him into the room in which Daneel was finishing the tour.

He bade the group goodnight after the tour ended, and patted Ben’s shoulder when everyone dispersed. They were going to get settled on their quarters before meeting again for dinner. Since all quarters were occupied, and the City was too far for a return trip to be worth it, Elijah was going to spend the night aboard the smaller Auroran ship, the one that had brought Daneel. Or, once again, that was the official explanation.

Only robots were on board, so at least this time he was spared the humiliation of a decontamination process. That would not always be so. If Daneel was not allowed to go live in his new planet, they would have to adapt to a lifetime of meeting aboard Auroran ships. As he showered, he wondered how old he would get before he became incapable of facing decontamination, how many years of clandestine meetings they could have before the Spacers declared him too decrepit to be allowed aboard even with plenty of precautions.

But as he stepped out of the Personal, all negative thoughts left him. At last, he would have a few hours alone with Daneel. His partner had set him dinner on a table in the cabin they would share that night, and was waiting for him. They kissed, slowly, languidly, and Elijah allowed all tension to momentarily leave him as he melted in Daneel’s embrace.

“I don’t want your food to grow cold” Daneel muttered, pulling away after a couple of minutes, and Elijah nodded. Before sitting, however, he walked towards the bed, grabbed a medium sized bag he had taken inside along with his personal belongings, and handed it to Daneel.

“I brought you some bookfilms I think you will like, based on your comments about the last ones I gave you. And thank you for _The Life of Susan Calvin_ , I really enjoyed it.”

Daneel smiled as he took the bag.

“Thank you so much, Elijah. You have amazing taste in literature, I am sure I will enjoy these as much as I did the other ones.”

Elijah ignored the warm sensation returning to his face, and smiled as he took the first bite of his dinner. They discussed _The Life of Susan Calvin_ while he ate, and agreed that no matter how much of it was fiction or exaggeration, the historical character must have been a really formidable person to be able to inspire such legends.

When dinner was finished, Daneel took out the dishes while Elijah went to the Personal. Upon returning to the cabin, they sat side by side on one of the small single beds. Daneel extended a hand, but instead of holding it in the way Daneel probably expected, Elijah delicately held it between his fingers and used his thumb to gently pressure the ball of Daneel’s third finger, rubbing it in a small circular movement. The low humming that indicated Daneel was experiencing a positive physical sensation was heard almost immediately and Elijah smiled.

“Is this alright?”

“As I told you last time we met, this will always be alright. But may I ask why you are choosing to do this now?”

“It was a stressful day, and last time you said this was relaxing.”

“It is. Extremely so. But it was a stressful day for you as well, Elijah. This is kind of you, but you don’t have to…”

Elijah stopped, and looked directly into the other’s eyes. “No, I do not have to, but this is not about obligations, Daneel,” he said, softly. “You are my partner, I love you, and I want to do things that make you feel good. But, of course, if this makes you uncomfortable I will stop.”

“I am not uncomfortable” Daneel said, quickly. Then he looked down. “It is just difficult at times to know how to react to your kindness.”

Sadness took hold of Elijah as he held Daneel’s hand again. Every time his sweet, gentle partner revealed just how alien the notion of being treated justly, of receiving respect, kindness, and affection was to him, Elijah felt furious at humanity as a whole (himself not excluded. He had not forgotten his actions on Solaria), and extremely frustrated by the impossibility of him being able to restore Daneel’s self-confidence on his own. He wanted to show Daneel that there was no shame in allowing his loved ones to take care of him, that he deserved positive attention just as much as anyone else. An idea crossed his mind, but he hesitated.

Although they had been together for two years, their extremely limited number of encounters in that time meant that the physical side of the relationship had not progressed much, in any sense. They both wanted it to, but the truth was that both had strong reasons to be extremely cautious. Daneel’s nervous system was Third Law based, and had been originally programmed to trigger a painful reaction that would urge him to protect himself if ever an enemy tried to open his skin to study his construction. That that was all Daneel was supposed to feel, according to his original programming, was another fact about his partner’s life that always made Elijah furious.

But even before their relationship had officially become romantic, Daneel had discovered that Elijah’s touch, the careful, loving, desired touch of someone he deeply loved, activated his sensorial nerves and triggered the Third Law in a positive way, which could take the form of several different enjoyable sensations. But pleasant as Elijah’s touch was to him, Daneel was still not completely used to experiencing physical pleasure, and so, out of fear of overwhelming him, they were treading slowly on their exploration of his nervous system. As for Elijah, he remembered all too well the quick glimpse he had had of Daneel’s godlike body five years ago, and the contrast with his own middle aged, rapidly decaying one, made the thought of physical intimacy of any kind somewhat unnerving. He knew, rationally, that Daneel did not mind any of his flaws (or, to be more accurate, did not even see them as flaws.) But the thought of those perfect hands touching his extremely imperfect body still made him ashamed. He knew he would probably be over it, and imagined that Daneel would also likely have adapted to the pleasant side of his nervous system, if they could have been constantly together for these past two years. But as that had not been the case, their physical intimacy was still at a level in which his voice sounded much more tremulous than he would have liked it to when he asked a perfectly innocent question.

“Daneel… How would you feel about me trying to give you a massage?”

Daneel’s eyes widened, and he was silent. Elijah felt cold, and wondered if this had been a huge mistake.

“If you don’t want to, that is perfectly fine, Daneel, please forget I said anything, I…”

“No! I… I am sorry, Elijah. I did not mean to worry you. I was just taken by surprise, and needed a moment to consider your offer. My first reaction was to refuse it, because it feels wrong to selfishly give you such trouble to reap benefits for myself, but I believe that is your point, is it not? We are partners, and you are trying to show me that you enjoy making me feel well as much as I enjoy doing that for you?”

“Yes,” admitted Elijah, nervously. “And also, that you have the right to enjoy good things being done for you. But I understand why a massage may be too much for now. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable in any way, and…”

“Please don’t be nervous, Elijah! You said nothing wrong! Like I said, I was just taken by surprise.” He smiled, a particularly charming smile that made Elijah feel as if his heart had stopped for a moment. “I do not understand why, however. It is an extremely gentle offer, but these should not surprise me when they come from you.” Daneel rested his hand lightly on top of Elijah’s, and looked into his eyes. “And you are right. Given the nature of our relationship, it would be right for me to start accepting them.”

“Not until you are ready. I do not want to pressure you.”

“I know. That is precisely why I _can_ say no to you when I don’t want to do something, or don't feel ready to. But it is not the case here. Receiving a massage from you sounds like a pleasant experience, and now that you have suggested it, I admit I am curious to know what that would feel like. I would be lying if I said I was not nervous, but it is in the positive way that precedes a positive new experience. And I know that if I become uncomfortable during the massage, you will stop at once. So,” his smile turned shy, “yes, I accept.”

“Are you really sure you want this?” Asked Elijah, still feeling uncertain he had not made a mistake.

“Completely. It is a notion that would never have occurred to me, dear, but I am glad that you have suggested it. Thank you for offering me this.”

Elijah sighed, relieved that he had not accidentally been too forward. Daneel’s next word, however, made him instantly anxious again.

“Except…”

“Yes?”

“Forgive me if I misunderstood the situation, Elijah, but this is to be a nonsexual experience…”

“Yes, of course!” Elijah said, quickly, reddening deeply.

“… but, if I understand the concept of a massage correctly, we cannot do this while I am fully clothed. I am comfortable with that, but only provided that you remain dressed. Otherwise,” Daneel looked down, seeming flustered, “my reactions to this situation might become inappropriate.”

Elijah coughed and needed a long moment to be able to respond to that, but at last, he nodded.

“And you... Would you be comfortable with me removing clothing?” Daneel asked, shyly.

“Y-Yes. As long… As long as you only removed your shirt, I am sure that I would.” The thought of seeing Daneel’s bare chest again, and of touching it for the first time, had been part of his hesitation before suggesting the massage. But he felt certain that the memory of the strain in Daneel’s voice right after hearing the settlers gossip about him would be enough to drive away any sexual impulses for that night. All he desired at the moment was to be able to help Daneel to relax. “Would you? Really?”

“Yes. And, Elijah... You do understand that I am not requesting that you remain clothed because I see any flaws in your body? Quite the opposite, in fact.”

Elijah nodded again, feeling as if he was burning. Daneel waited a moment for him to calm down, and pressed a gentle kiss to his face.

“Are you ready?”

“Whenever you are.”

Getting up from the bed, Daneel walked towards a chair, removed his shoes, and then his shirt. Folding it carefully, he placed it on top of the chair, returned to the bed, and stared at it, seeming to be puzzled.

“What should I do now?”

“You… You could lie down. In any position you feel comfortable in.”

Daneel laid on his back, and stared expectantly at Elijah. Feeling a bit awkward, Elijah took Daneel’s left hand.

“I will start doing what we already did,” he said, “and move up your seam from there. Please let me know if this becomes uncomfortable at any minute.”

Daneel nodded, solemnly, and Elijah began. For the first couple of minutes, he did nothing but rub at the very tip of the seam on Daneel’s finger, and watch relaxation slowly spread over his partner’s beautiful face.

“I’m going to start moving, alright?”

“Yes.”

His fingers moved gently up Daneel’s hand and arm, feeling the hardness of metal under the soft skin as he softly pressed at the faint seam. Daneel hummed, more continuously than Elijah had ever heard, and he decided to pause to check if all was ok.

“How are you feeling?”

“Extremely well. It is as if my positronic pathways are being cleaned. My thoughts always flow faster in your presence, Elijah, but when you touch me in this way, it feels as if my thoughts do not actually need to flow at all. I believe that all my energy is being redirected to focus on the physical stimulus, and none is left to dedicate to any non-essential functions. The result is, as I have said, deeply relaxing.”

Relieved, and feeling his entire being be filled by a deep wave of affection, Elijah restarted the massage. He finished the first arm, then did the other, constantly checking on Daneel’s wellbeing, and always receiving positive responses. From the arms, he moved to the chest seam. When he was done, he hesitated for a moment before asking,

“Daneel, would you like me to try to massage your head too?”

The positronic brain being the center of a robot’s life, the most delicate part of his body, and the only one completely irreplaceable, the area protecting it was naturally given a higher sensorial concentration, for increased protection. Daneel’s head was, therefore, the most sensitive area of his body, and Elijah had given up any dreams of ever being able to touch it and not blush at the intense response that always triggered on Daneel. And he had never touched it as purposefully, or for as long, as he was offering to do now.

Daneel’s eyes seemed to suddenly focus when he heard the question, and he appeared a little embarrassed.

“If you don’t want to, that’s alright!” Elijah said quickly.

“No, I do want to. Truly. But will you just give me a moment to prepare?”

“Of course. As long as you need.”

They were silent for a few seconds, and then Daneel gave him a shy smile.

“I feel ready.”

Elijah smiled back and, trembling slightly, placed his hands on Daneel’s hair and softly pressed his fingertips against the skin. Daneel’s voice pump hummed at once, a bit louder than it usually did, and his eyes closed, as if automatically.

“Too much?”

“No. It feels _very_ pleasant.”

“Do you want me to continue now?”

“Please do.”

Elijah froze in surprise, needing a moment to process that he had heard that correctly. Jehoshaphat! Was… Was Daneel really feeling comfortable enough to be able to actively ask for positive attention? A feeling of giddy warmth spread in his chest. Smiling, he moved his fingers, gently, alternating between rubbing circles like he had done on Daneel’s arms and chest, and simply caressing the soft bronze hair. Daneel laid there, humming most of the time, occasionally leaning into a particularly pleasant touch, and, for once, simply allowing himself to be taken care of.

Twice, Elijah asked for confirmation that everything was alright. Daneel replied promptly on the first time, but made no reply on the second. Elijah felt cold, and immediately pulled his hands away.

“Daneel? Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Daneel’s voice came strangely low, almost slurred, but it did not sound as if he were in pain. “I beg your pardon, Elijah. I feel perfectly alright. This is just somewhat confusing…”

“What?” he asked, feeling the beginnings of a cold sweat, the response having done nothing to diminish his anxiety. Daneel turned his neck to look directly at him.

“I believe you were about to activate my sleeping mode. I did not know it was possible for that to be done externally.”

Elijah’s eyes widened, and he instinctively put some distance between them, as if fearing that his touch might damage Daneel.

“How do you feel about this?” he asked, in a weak voice. Daneel frowned.

“I’m afraid I do not understand your meaning.”

“You…You said you just realized it is possible for others to render you unconscious by touching you. Does that not make you feel unsafe?”

“Oh.” Daneel reached a hand, and waited for Elijah to hesitantly take it. “I am quite certain that no one but you could ever produce this effect, Elijah. So of course I feel perfectly safe.” He increased the pressure of his hand on Elijah’s, and smiled fondly. “I consider this discovery to be a pleasant one, dear.”

Elijah melted.

“So what do we do now? Would… Would you like me to continue until you fall asleep?”

“Only if that would not make you uncomfortable.”

“Why would it?”

“I do not know. Any reason would be valid. I worry, for instance, that seeing me asleep might disturb you, as I do not breathe and do not move in my sleep, like human beings do. If we proceed with this, I will be lying perfectly still for approximately four or five hours. Will you be comfortable with that?”

“You promise me you will be perfectly alright and will suffer no negative effects?”

“Yes. In fact, the experience brings many positive effects.”

“In this case, I am certain I will not feel disturbed. And I do not plan on staying awake for long. Daneel, when you wake up, could you wake me as well? I can catch up on sleep later tomorrow. Tonight I would prefer to spend as much time as possible with you.”

Daneel gently pulled Elijah’s hand closer and kissed it.

“Of course. May I ask where you are planning to sleep, Elijah?”

“There is another bed in here. I will sleep there if you would rather I did, dear.”

Their eyes met, and both looked a bit flustered.

“Actually, if you would be comfortable with that, Elijah, I would love to share a bed with you.”

Elijah gulped.

“So… So would I.”

Smiling shyly, they leaned for a kiss.

“If we will share a bed, it might be better for me to put my shirt on again.” Daneel muttered when they pulled away, and Elijah looked down in embarrassment. That was a fair point. Nothing would happen before they slept, of course, but waking up next to Daneel’s shirtless torso might make things awkward. Not wanting Daneel to lose the feeling of relaxation he had already acquired, Elijah crossed the room to get his shirt for him. As he put it back on, Elijah sat on the top of the bed. When Daneel accepted the invitation to lie with his head on his lap, he felt for a moment that this must be a dream.

“Are you alright, Elijah?”

“Perfectly,” he replied, truthfully, despite the redness of his face. “Are you?”

“I cannot recall having ever felt better.”

Leaning forward, Elijah kissed him one last time for the evening.

“Let me know if you want me to stop at any point, alright?”

“Of course. Good night, Elijah.”

“Good night, Daneel.”

He resumed his massage, moving slower this time, still having trouble believing that this could be real, that Daneel could indeed be lying on his lap, falling asleep at his ministrations.

Less than ten minutes into the new massaging section, Daneel was completely immobile and had ceased to respond when Elijah called his name. Concluding that he was asleep, Elijah stopped his caresses.

Taking extreme care not to disturb his sleep, he lifted Daneel’s head a few inches, so that he could get out of the bed, and then gently arranged it on the pillow on a way that looked comfortable. He got a blanket from the storage closet on the other side of the room, covered Daneel, turned off the lights, and got in bed with him.

As he laid his head on Daneel’s chest and passed an arm around him, he found his mind returning to Daneel’s words about his sleeping mode. “This is somewhat confusing… I did not know it could be done externally.” Elijah smiled, feeling himself invaded by an overwhelming feeling of tenderness. His ability to activate Daneel’s sleeping mode was to be an intimate secret between them, but he was certain that if Fastolfe heard about it, he would be confused as well. Elijah knew enough about the process of Daneel’s design to have no doubts that neither Fastolfe nor the late Sarton had meant to allow for a way in which their creation could be rendered so vulnerable by external stimuli. Daneel had not known this could be done because it was not supposed to be done. It shouldn’t have been possible. Just like the other types of pleasure Daneel felt in his presence. Just like a robot who could understand abstractions, and who could fall in love. And, in a way, just like an Earthman who could realize his anti-robot prejudices were wrong, who could come to admire and befriend robots, and fall deeply, desperately in love with one.

Shifting slightly to strengthen his hold on Daneel, Elijah thought of Bentley, and of the comments some of the others had made about Daneel during lunchtime. At that moment, he had felt despair. Getting them all to understand had seemed impossible. Rationally speaking, perhaps it should be.

But his impulsive outburst to Vasilia two years ago had been truer than he had realized back then. Every time he met Daneel, it became clearer that there was nothing the force of their love could not do. For a glorious moment, Elijah felt certain that they would convince the settlers to accept Daneel, that they would be able to live in the same house, that they would, somehow, be together forever. Yawning, he buried his face deeply on his partner’s chest and slept soundly, having nothing but the most pleasant dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a cute headcanon, and somehow grew into over 9k of fic. I'd really like to thank cliffsofmemory for all the help and support during the entire process. ^^


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